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“I also feel that it is your sensitivity that makes you a great catch out there in the dating world,” she said, to which I involuntarily smiled, blushed and quickly buried my chin in my chest. “I knew you were going to say that.” I smile, shake my head and look around the room, denying acceptance of my own ridiculous reality. “We can talk about this in here.” I look again at her stark blue eyes, prevalent under dark brown bangs, the rest of her hair reaching the top of her chest, which is hugged nicely by a fitted white tee under an open button-down. By showing the patient a level of acceptance, she hopes to facilitate a more comfortable atmosphere for “the work” — her painfully accurate pseudonym for psychotherapy.I was too insecure and too single to handle such a compliment from a beautiful woman. She jogs often, I’d come to find out, which explains her petite figure and ability to probably pull off just about any outfit of her choosing. “Do you think you’re the first client that’s been attracted to their therapist? “I’ve had other clients openly discuss their feelings, even their sexual fantasies involving me.” “What? I take a second to let the red flow out of my face, and ponder what she said.“When you said you’re attracted to me,” she continues. “That.” Back in session three Lori was trying to build my self-esteem, the lack of which is one of the reasons I’m in treatment.
I told Lori that I wish I was better at dealing with life’s daily struggles instead of constantly wondering if I’ll be able to wade through the thick. Now, a week after dropping that bomb, Lori asks, “So, why haven’t we talked about it?“I don’t think I should let you go until we’ve at least touched on what was put out there at the end of last week’s session.” I so supremely wanted this not to come up.My eyelids tighten, my mouth puckers to the left, and my head tilts, as though I’m asking her to clarify.She quickly and convincingly pointed out that I work rather hard and am, ultimately, paying my bills on time, that I have friends, an appreciation for arts and culture, and so on. ” “I was hoping to avoid it, I suppose.” I tell her the whole notion of having the hots for a therapist is such a sizable cliché that I was embarrassed to admit it.