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18-Jan-2020 07:35

I have considered asking if we could open up the relationship, but I doubt that is the solution. Help Relationship Transition Whatever you do, HRT, please—please—don't ask to open up your relationship when what you really want is out.

A lot of people who want out do this, and it's why so many people believe all requests to open a relationship are a sign the relationship is doomed.

(We've been together 10 years.) She says she has never met him in person (despite communicating with him for more than a decade!

) and this was the only thing she was doing that she thought would have been out of bounds. I'm not okay with her being with other guys, but I know harmless flirting can be a release.

Still, I have issues with anxiety and depression, and this is definitely triggering me.

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It was a reasonable assumption on her part, since swapping flirty texts with a stranger is regarded as "out of bounds" by most.

But if the person being summoned wants more—if the summonee has unrequited feelings for the summoner—the summoned person is going to get hurt.