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15-Aug-2020 19:35

I won't say it's been fairy-tale perfect—the kind of perfect that makes you barf and roll your eyes—but it's been pretty damn close.

My wife has been incredibly GGG, and I hope I have been, too. Now you know there's at least one couple out there whose sex life has only gotten better over the years.

So with the help of counseling, I got him on board with dirty talk during sex (because it's important for me) and I worked (and still work) on telling him what to do when we bone.

He can't read my body language, so a lot of the improvement came down to me being more comfortable with giving him instructions.

And did they ever: My inbox is packed with e-mails from couples whose sex lives got better after the wedding. But we were both in our early 40s and ready to settle down.

I was a very experienced woman (five years as a swinger and partners numbering in the high double digits) when I first met the man who would become my husband. We also had an amazing friendship, and we were never as happy apart as we were together. We went from once a month to a couple times a week. It's not as frequent as it once was, but it's really good when we have it. Am I the first or the hundredth person to write in? I suspect you don't see it in your inbox very often because this isn't what most people would consider a problem and we don't want to waste your time!

I struggled with erectile dysfunction during my courtship with my wife.

If I had a partner who was unwilling to talk about sex or try to fix it, I'd kick his ass to the curb without blinking.

In a recent column, you said you never hear from married couples whose sex life got better and more frequent over the years. My wife and I were married 24 years ago, and we are currently having more sex and better sex than we did in the first years of our marriage.

There are many reasons why, including therapy, antidepressants, and weight loss and subsequent surgery—but I would have to say that the big reason is communication.

I did allow for the possibility that my sample was skewed; people with good sex lives don't write to tell me everything's fine.

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So I invited people whose so-so sex lives improved after the wedding to write in.It sounds cheesy, but marriage counseling really helped.It helped my husband understand himself and his reactions better, and it helped cement the idea of "ours" instead of "yours" as it related to the problems I was dealing with at the time.We also have plenty of sex that isn't P in V, which takes the pressure off both of us.



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